Comments on: Caring for the Post-Partum Woman (A Long-Overdue Rant, Rated PG-13) http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 08:40:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: MamaBear http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-6262 MamaBear Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:17:53 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-6262 Hi Weary Mom, ((Hugs)) to you. That sounds frustrating. I hope things are better for you and your family now. It can be so hard those first few days. Hi Weary Mom,

((Hugs)) to you. That sounds frustrating. I hope things are better for you and your family now. It can be so hard those first few days.

]]> By: a tierd, weary mom http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-6234 a tierd, weary mom Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:00:29 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-6234 The day I came home from the hospital with my last child (number 3) my husband decided that since he got to stay home from work too he would go ahead and do some work on a car, the entire first two days I got home! I had to take care of my older two, ages 3 and 5 and make our meals...I was so mad I could just spit. Shit, I'm still mad and it's been over a year now. Anyway, I just had to let that out. I could go on, but it might solicite an angry mob over at my house. The day I came home from the hospital with my last child (number 3) my husband decided that since he got to stay home from work too he would go ahead and do some work on a car, the entire first two days I got home! I had to take care of my older two, ages 3 and 5 and make our meals…I was so mad I could just spit. Shit, I’m still mad and it’s been over a year now. Anyway, I just had to let that out. I could go on, but it might solicite an angry mob over at my house.

]]> By: MamaBear http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-2765 MamaBear Mon, 26 Nov 2007 22:45:01 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-2765 <p>Olerica,</p> <p>How wonderful that you are realizing this so early on. Many of us, sadly, don't realize this until we've already been blindsided by inconsiderate relatives, friends, and acquaintances (however well-meaning they may be). May I suggest that you find yourself a trusted person, someone who will understand what it is you need, and be reliable and trustworthy enough to give it to you when you need it? (I know, I know -- tall order!) </p> <p>Some people hire a doula to help them during their labor. In retrospect, I think this would have been a good option for me, and if I have any future children, I will research doulas even more thoroughly than I did the first time around. I think next time I'll also use a midwife, but there's no telling, not knowing what my situation will be (since I'm not even pregnant right now). Since you ARE pregnant right now (CONGRATULATIONS!!), you may want to catch Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein's new documentary "The Business of Being Born" to give you an idea of the state of what birth is like right now and what some of your birth options are. Here are the upcoming screenings: http://thebusinessofbeingborn.com/screenings.htm I hope you have the empowered birth and postpartum experience you deserve. :)</p> Olerica,

How wonderful that you are realizing this so early on. Many of us, sadly, don’t realize this until we’ve already been blindsided by inconsiderate relatives, friends, and acquaintances (however well-meaning they may be). May I suggest that you find yourself a trusted person, someone who will understand what it is you need, and be reliable and trustworthy enough to give it to you when you need it? (I know, I know — tall order!)

Some people hire a doula to help them during their labor. In retrospect, I think this would have been a good option for me, and if I have any future children, I will research doulas even more thoroughly than I did the first time around. I think next time I’ll also use a midwife, but there’s no telling, not knowing what my situation will be (since I’m not even pregnant right now). Since you ARE pregnant right now (CONGRATULATIONS!!), you may want to catch Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein’s new documentary “The Business of Being Born” to give you an idea of the state of what birth is like right now and what some of your birth options are. Here are the upcoming screenings: http://thebusinessofbeingborn.com/screenings.htm I hope you have the empowered birth and postpartum experience you deserve. :)

]]> By: Olerica http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-2756 Olerica Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:59:34 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-2756 I'm pregnant with my first (8 weeks) and ALREADY I feel this protective about the weeks following the birth of my baby. I'm really hoping that DH will relent on his willingness to let his family come for a visit after our baby is born. I know I just want the time. (I've sent him the post). Thanks for posting this. I’m pregnant with my first (8 weeks) and ALREADY I feel this protective about the weeks following the birth of my baby. I’m really hoping that DH will relent on his willingness to let his family come for a visit after our baby is born. I know I just want the time. (I’ve sent him the post).

Thanks for posting this.

]]> By: MamaBear http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-2000 MamaBear Mon, 12 Nov 2007 01:36:15 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-2000 Oh, Ashley (((HUGS)))... My heart goes out to you. That is just really unfortunate, and I'm glad that period of time is now over (I hope!) so that you can finally recover from it. Yeah, it's really not very nice for anyone to foist additional responsibilities onto postpartum women. Postpartum women have more than enough on their plates as it is. I don't see how society can't understand that. If someone were recovering from any other type of injury (broken leg or whatever), society would be able to see easily how inappropriate that sort of thing would be. But for some reason, women who have just given birth aren't given any kind of consideration, usually. It's really very disheartening, disappointing, and saddening to me that this is case. Oh, Ashley (((HUGS)))… My heart goes out to you. That is just really unfortunate, and I’m glad that period of time is now over (I hope!) so that you can finally recover from it.

Yeah, it’s really not very nice for anyone to foist additional responsibilities onto postpartum women. Postpartum women have more than enough on their plates as it is. I don’t see how society can’t understand that. If someone were recovering from any other type of injury (broken leg or whatever), society would be able to see easily how inappropriate that sort of thing would be. But for some reason, women who have just given birth aren’t given any kind of consideration, usually. It’s really very disheartening, disappointing, and saddening to me that this is case.

]]> By: Ashley http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1981 Ashley Sun, 11 Nov 2007 18:36:33 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1981 AMEN! It was literally PUSHED on me that my 13 year old sister come stay for a week after I had my son. I was recovering from a cesarean (a long story in itself) and did NOT want anyone else around. But I didn't have a choice apparently. She was only suposed to stay for 3 days but ended up staying for 8. Yeah, what fun, to have PP bleeding, extreme emotions, breastfeeding and pumping problems, my hair falling out, pain from surgery, etc etc, AND have to make sure my sister ate, slept well, had her clothes washed (she didn't bring enough for a whole week), the dishes got done, dinner was made, and I didn't lose my mind. My boyfriend had taken a week off after our son was born but we spent the whole week in the hospital due to the cesarean. It sucked having to be responsible for her and the baby. We had bf'ing problems due to tongue tie, and I wasn't comfortable nursing around her, so I was holed up in my room alot during that week, when I should have been comfortable in my recliner instead. It was ridiculous. I already told everyone that next time, NO ONE is coming to stay. Not no one, not for any reason. Why won't people just let us be???? PP is just about the worst thing I went through, and it may not have been so bad if I hadn't gotten an extra roommate that week. AMEN!
It was literally PUSHED on me that my 13 year old sister come stay for a week after I had my son. I was recovering from a cesarean (a long story in itself) and did NOT want anyone else around. But I didn’t have a choice apparently. She was only suposed to stay for 3 days but ended up staying for 8. Yeah, what fun, to have PP bleeding, extreme emotions, breastfeeding and pumping problems, my hair falling out, pain from surgery, etc etc, AND have to make sure my sister ate, slept well, had her clothes washed (she didn’t bring enough for a whole week), the dishes got done, dinner was made, and I didn’t lose my mind. My boyfriend had taken a week off after our son was born but we spent the whole week in the hospital due to the cesarean. It sucked having to be responsible for her and the baby. We had bf’ing problems due to tongue tie, and I wasn’t comfortable nursing around her, so I was holed up in my room alot during that week, when I should have been comfortable in my recliner instead. It was ridiculous. I already told everyone that next time, NO ONE is coming to stay. Not no one, not for any reason. Why won’t people just let us be???? PP is just about the worst thing I went through, and it may not have been so bad if I hadn’t gotten an extra roommate that week.

]]> By: MamaBear http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1399 MamaBear Sun, 30 Sep 2007 14:41:54 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1399 Tina, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D And I just want to make sure you know: yes, I totally agree, cesareans are definitely giving birth too, and actually necessitate even MORE care for the postpartum woman. My whole point in writing this post is to highlight how important it is that women who give birth get the right care (and how to give it), and to try to give the world a perspective they're not used to reading about (a woman who does NOT exist solely to please others, but rather who has undergone a very painful ordeal and needs some serious attention and care to heal from it). The world is so unkind to women who have given birth, people forget all about her needs and focus only on the baby... And I want that to change. The focus should still be on the woman, even after she is pregnant, because she is still the primary caretaker (nourisher) of the baby. Like they say, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Tina,

I’m glad you enjoyed it. :D

And I just want to make sure you know: yes, I totally agree, cesareans are definitely giving birth too, and actually necessitate even MORE care for the postpartum woman. My whole point in writing this post is to highlight how important it is that women who give birth get the right care (and how to give it), and to try to give the world a perspective they’re not used to reading about (a woman who does NOT exist solely to please others, but rather who has undergone a very painful ordeal and needs some serious attention and care to heal from it). The world is so unkind to women who have given birth, people forget all about her needs and focus only on the baby… And I want that to change. The focus should still be on the woman, even after she is pregnant, because she is still the primary caretaker (nourisher) of the baby. Like they say, “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

]]> By: Tina http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1396 Tina Sun, 30 Sep 2007 01:35:07 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1396 omg would they like my lochia in their water.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I just snorted water out of my nose. I would like to add though in reference to the first paragraph that those of us who didnt necessarily push our babies out of our hooha still did give birth and are most definitely in need of all the above as well. Love this - it should be posted on the front door of postpartum mamas. Relatives are the worst about coming and thinking they are going to be doing a lot of baby holding. Um no. omg would they like my lochia in their water…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I just snorted water out of my nose. I would like to add though in reference to the first paragraph that those of us who didnt necessarily push our babies out of our hooha still did give birth and are most definitely in need of all the above as well. Love this - it should be posted on the front door of postpartum mamas. Relatives are the worst about coming and thinking they are going to be doing a lot of baby holding. Um no.

]]> By: MamaBear http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1066 MamaBear Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:27:12 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1066 Heh-heh. :) I'm glad you were given the proper treatment during your post-birth convalescence, even if you had to fight to make it happen. I'll bet it makes all the difference. Maybe with enough women saying, "I deserve better," we'll start getting the right kind of care after birth. Thanks for sharing. Heh-heh. :) I’m glad you were given the proper treatment during your post-birth convalescence, even if you had to fight to make it happen. I’ll bet it makes all the difference. Maybe with enough women saying, “I deserve better,” we’ll start getting the right kind of care after birth.

Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: Jen http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1065 Jen Thu, 13 Sep 2007 14:45:49 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/2007/09/07/caring-for-the-post-partum-woman-a-long-overdue-rant-rated-pg-13/#comment-1065 YES, I wanted most of these things! And when I had DS2 in May, I made sure I got most of them... it took a lot of work beforehand, a saintly husband, a lot of $$$, and the short-term alienation of all our family members who do not understand item 1 on your list... but I feel darned good right now, and everyone else has gotten over themselves. Forwarding this to DH so he knows I am not a freak, or maybe that I am not the only freak... YES, I wanted most of these things! And when I had DS2 in May, I made sure I got most of them… it took a lot of work beforehand, a saintly husband, a lot of $$$, and the short-term alienation of all our family members who do not understand item 1 on your list… but I feel darned good right now, and everyone else has gotten over themselves. Forwarding this to DH so he knows I am not a freak, or maybe that I am not the only freak…

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